There's Nothing But I Feel it All

Lately I feel like there's something wrong with me, with my mind, and maybe my heart. Oh, maybe this is just the way those hormones works.

I don't feel that I have a problem. But sometimes, there is a time that I feel so weak, but somehow I have to through it all discreetly.

There is a time that I want to hold the whole world by my hands. Unfortunately I only could hold two hands, one mind, and one heart.  Too much complicated, I guess.

The one thing that I expected right now, is to turning back my world just like before. I want to smile, I want to laugh. I don't want to talk too much about professionalism, idealism, or the jobs done. It's enough that I spend all my energy and my mind to do it. I lose my time, mostly to do the job. But when I go home, I only want to be relax, to enjoy the time together, even it feels too short for me.

I spend all the time for the job. Monday to Saturday. Even somehow I asked to myself, "Is it that effective to work on Saturday?" Oh please, Saturday is time to relax and feel happy when the Friday comes.

Yeah, somehow I feel like that. But in the other side, I've just through and do it all, finish all the things I've started.

One thing that happend uncommonly, when Saturday comes, somehow my mind thought of joy. "Oh I think I'm gonna love it when Saturday Night comes..." it's the time for me to see you.

I'm happy. So happy. Everyday I alwalys tried to go home as soon as I could. Somehow I don't need to stay longer if I had finished all the things I need to do. You know, I have a right to go home at 5pm, and enjoy my free time after work. I'm not a machine, though.

But that is not the point. Lately I just feel that there's something different with the way we talk, the way making jokes. Especially you. I feel it more silence. A bit sad of it. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I've worried too much. Oh, and maybe that's the hormones works. Ah..

It looks so sad that I always blame hormones of many things, especially during my period. But, as for me, all the thing I need recently, is just some jokes to keep laugh and feel free of the limited time that I have with you..

You. You. There's no any reason of me to feel sad or happy. It's only you....