Hope, Meanness and Decision

I'm not sure. I feel doubt. I feel weak. And sometimes lonely. When there's a time that I didn't have and feel you there. Like you had run, or disappeared for a while. A distance, spread the tears into my day, my night. I feel sad, but I must not. Have to be brave and strong, even i feel that it would never happen since you always make me powerless, with or without you. 


Maybe it's a disease. Like I always transmitted it to you, diseases, problems...Til you got tired and sick. Well you are a human too. Though I have thaught that you're an angel in the beginning. But this far we have been walking, I realize and make me more to realize, that you are only human. You could be mad, upset, and ignore everything that you don't like. Including....me.

Oh honestly this 'thing' would never been and posted here. Actually I just want to share happiness so I would let the world to know, that I'm a happy girl and pleased. But the journey not only including the smile and laugh, though...That is not a life. But maybe true it's a false that I'm hoping a perfect happiness without any sad and meanness. That is not a life...      

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I finally run with my finger
Breathing without any expectation
That's you who left me, beneath hope and meanness
And now I fall into the bar of your enchantment


This is not the way you hold me, you drive away
This is not the way you stole my heart, you push me to your cleft


I fell so immortal
Ill walk I live with my decision
To forget you
[hope, meanness and decision]